I am now standing back ready for a whole load of comments saying that I am totally wrong!

But let me explain!  Obviously you don’t want to be ‘not nice’ or horrible or nasty but it really DOES work against a manager if they try to be nice in order to be liked by everyone.

And the reason why?  Because as a manger you may have to do things from time to time that are not nice.   Like a business restructure that takes away a favourite project, or making redundancies, or, as one of my clients has done just recently, announce pay cuts.

Also if you are trying to be ‘nice’ in order to be liked it gives the power of the relationship away to the other person.  They and they alone can decide whether they like you and to be frank you can give everything to some people and they still will not like you  – after all you are that thing called ‘management’!

So as a manager what should you do?

The answer is to work to become RESPECTED.

People may not like what you do  –  like making people redundant  –  but they can, and will, respect you for the way in which you choose to do it.

How do you earn people’s respect?  Well here are my five top tips:

  • Respect them.  Respect is a two way street, if you do not respect them then stand back because they most certainly will not respect you!
  • Give individuals time and listen to them (does not take long but when you are listening to them, truly listen to them!).
  • Be willing to see the other side of the discussion – and if people are right change your mind.
  • Be a person of your word and be seen to be honouring the promises you to give to others.
  • Make the tough, necessary decisions that need to be made.

Would love to hear more tips about how to earn respect.  What have worked for you?

And once you have the respect of your team THEN you can be nice and bring in those cakes on Friday!!


To find out how Converse Well can help you turn difficult feedback situations into opportunities to motivate and engage your staff, call 020 8870 9036 or 07734 944 515 or email hello@conversewell.com